Media alert! A Canon engineer on 8K and overheating

In a historic interview granted only with the EOSHD YouTube Channel, a Canon colour science engineer finally sat down to talk about the EOS R5 overheating issues.

Media alert!

The media are now on alert for any high temperatures. Stay alert, and stay indoors.

If travelling with the EOS R5 through an airport, please present the camera’s forehead to inspectors for a temperature check before boarding.

If any signs of an elevated fever are present, the camera will have to sit with a icepack on its own seat.

A large fan will be provided by the flight attendant. This will be mounted on the tray table in front of the seat.

In addition Peter McKinnon will be present to blow at the card door.

If the combined measures taken today by Canon Inc. fail to cool the camera after 20 minutes into the flight, an emergency firmware update will be performed at 30,000ft!

This will involve (at the passenger’s expense) a military F-15 strike eagle docking with the flight and administering a 200ft USB cable into the toilet compartment at row 27.

The firmware update will add compressed raw liquid nitrogen and animal face detection. If the camera detects the presence of a polar bear, 8K recording times will be extended to 30 minutes. If the face of a meerkat is outlined by our advanced AI processing, the camera will shut off instantly.

Canon Inc. would like to apologise for this media alert.

If you are the camera media, you can go back to being silent now.

We would like the next alert to alert users to the hype surrounding 4K/120fps because Sony has that now and we want to beat them.

It is suspected that Sony will do this from a full pixel readout, but we can only do it pixel binned for 15 minutes before the sensor melts.

In addition we are worried that the Panasonic S1H might be a better option for pros who actually want to get further than 20 minutes into a recording.

This really is the end of the media alert now.

Canon would like to apologise on behalf of meerkats and safari photographers, big cat keepers, game keepers and people living in Florida.

There will be an optional battery grip released in 2021 for $2000 that adds a fan.

End of media alert.

Oh one more thing Jordan Drake please be nice. Please. Don’t forget you came from a camera store and we can put you back there to.

Think you’re a filmmaker huh Jordan!? OI! Peter McKinnon, you better drum up some more pre-orders or else the chick-appeal and lifestyle gets it.

Hey Jarred. Jarred Polin – ONLY MENTION THE STILLS!! PLEASE!!

End of media control… I mean… alert!