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17797 a short film shot on Mark iii


mbiondo25
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There is a great sense of tonality in this film, as you have been told already. I really enjoyed it! It feels like a good start to a bigger journey that I would happily tag along for the ride. In addition, it is a great testament to the narrative possibilities of the mk3 in the right hands.

As for feedback, I was looking for an arc or a twist that pays off on the suggested relationship between the crumpled receipt (or popcorn?... it wasn't clear) and the texts. The theme is not that clear as to what the situation is, is it a thriller, love story or drama? Shorts don't necessarily need 3 acts, but there usually is a payoff that brings it all together and lets us know what is actually going on on a 'global' scale in relation to these characters you have introduced. It doesn't (I think) need more shots or details, just maybe more subtext in the text messages, more descriptive cuts and a more committed playfulness with the true (?) macguffin of the earrings. Through the earrings you are telling us everything about these people, their relationship, desires, past and future.

The actor and direction (your skill) cannot really be faulted imo.

Hope you meant you wanted feedback when you asked for it, thats mine!

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Thanks for the thoughtful response!  Really appreciate it. I was definitely playing around with how little exposition I needed to give to still elicit some kind of feeling. It works better here for some than it does for others. I'm glad you still enjoyed it though. Saying you would keep watching is a big compliment!

Cheers.

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If we could all pitch in a bit more about feedback on work and less on camera specs, a lot of people who actually take action, like yourself, would greatly benefit. Not that you need advice to create good, professional work - as you have done - just as a general discussion/ support to get creative juices flowing for next projects or moral support, idea generation etc.

To me that is a true community. Feedback, feedback, feedback, tech specs, more feedback, newb questions answered, feedback... Not that I have anything to add of use! But we should feel obliged to review the work of our peers if they ask for it from our own weird spectrum of experience.

Thinking more about this famous 'story' everyone keeps talking about. Here we have someone who has created a story and... no response.

Anyways, I digress...

Keep up the good work!

edit (additional stuff): I think most people are shy to give feedback because they don't want to come across as assholes, but then there is also a few who simply think anything done by anyone else is irrelevant to their life experience so they don't even bother to look. Both extremes are products of our anonymous age unfortunately. Again, not that I have anything useful to say, I just see this as a good opportunity to get others who DO have something useful to say, to say SOMETHING. Sorry if I politicised your post, I tend to do that:)

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  • 4 weeks later...

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