My latest short film

[Hank E]

Please view my latest entry into the "Bike Shorts" competition in Virginia, USA. Here's a link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkuqGKNKBvo&index=14&list=PL4m8lQGvjPNxO75BvCzKOb8xhgNCYo53R

It won the "audience choice" award in this small film festival--only 13 entries.  However, it recently was rejected in two other film competitions.

My question is: how do you shorten a film like this but still get the idea of the film across to the viewer.

P.S. Please view the entire film.  There is a scene after the credits. (Would you have put the final scene BEFORE the credits.)

Thanks in advance for your constructive criticism.

[Geoff CB]

I would have put the final scene before the credits, and dumped the zombie sequence. May have been fun to shoot but has nothing to do with the story and worse it's at a point where the audience just wants to see grandma's reaction, so your making the audience wait.

Also:

The power of editing is that you don't need to show every step of something. You don't need to show him fiddling with the bag, or every time he gets on or off the bike. The final scene with him on the porch should begin with him ringing the doorbell.