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kaylee

I need a hug

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18 hours ago, BTM_Pix said:

I wouldn't worry about what other people are up to or where they seem to be at. Everyone is winging it to some degree or another.

Totally agree, and to take this one step further, I've discovered that in life people tend to project an image of who they want to be rather than who they are.

People who project confidence are typically very insecure, people who project wealth tend to be spending all their money on showing off and are broke, those who are showing off how happy they are (eg, instagram) are typically miserable.  I saw a documentary on what life is like for most billionaires and it's pretty awful actually - they can't trust anyone because people are after their money, they have these huge houses but are constantly renovating them to try and one-up their other billionaire friends, and spend most of their time driving fancy cars and drinking expensive champagne wishing they had some real friends.

So @kaylee, when you're looking at friends who are married and having kids and feeling that you're missing something, your friends are being torn apart by trying to have careers as well as families, pay their mortgages, not strangle their kids after the 4th sleepless night with the baby crying and the toddler drawing all over the good couch with their favourite lipstick that isn't made anymore, and wishing they could just live in a small town with their dog and get to have a bit of glitz and glam of the film world.
I'm out here in the suburbs surrounded by lots of broken people who are now single parents because their relationships failed and when their kids phone gets hacked and their nudes are posted to other kids and they're getting bullied and coming home in tears and don't know WTF to do.

Never compare your insides with someone elses outsides.

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Man, life is a ride. I have no idea what I'm really doing either (in my 30s now)... I realised no one does and if they think they do they are probably lying or over complacent and something will happen to throw them off guard. Just live your life, be happy doing whatever it is you are doing. I'm not a millionaire (or even close to earning a good wage) but I'm happier than pretty much all my friends because I mostly just do the things I love. Just be you, let them be them.

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30? Still a child!

I have THE BIG 5 OH looming in less than 2 years...

But then I am a child myself to my mother (born 1945) as she is to her father (still with us) born 1916!

A lot of age (other than ultimate limitations due to age) is in the mind.

One of my brothers, not even 40, thinks his life is over because he does not have a successful career. Only another 30 working years to sort that one out!

I myself physically feel around 30, but then I do workout 6 days a week so a bit of a nutter in that department. A lady I was talking to recently did not believe I was older than 37. Yes dear, I actually am nearly 50.

Mentally, I feel around 30 also? Act like I'm 6 sometimes though...

Oh and dogs instinctively do want to chase cats, but they can be trained quite easily. We have 2 large rescue hunting dogs (terrible to train for most things other than sitting for food!) and one of them especially wanted to eat the already resident tiny cat, but now it's the 2kg kitty that rules the roost over the 30+kg dogs and they love her, even sleeping in the same bed sometimes.

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@kaylee, I turn 47 next month & am freaking out! All my friends are married, some have kids & all of them have sensible, stable jobs that earn them a good comfortable living - I don't!

The last few years, the work slowly started to dry up & I had to get a sensible part-time job. The realisation that I should perhaps move away from what I liked doing, to actually something that would leave me in a more comfortable position has been beckoning me for some time - should this become a hobby has become the question for a while now?

Last year, I agreed to help a friend of a friend out with the music he had begun to make - made a video & tweaked some of the music. He offered me to join & work with him, which I accepted as I had nothing better to do. Another friend joined us & we were 3 guys in our 40s just doing something in our spare time, all having fun, albeit living in different parts of the country. We don't meet up very often & there were never any intentions to play live - it's electronic music & I don't think we have the time or money to figure that part of it out just yet.

A few months ago we were offered a Record Contract! This has come, pretty much, totally out of the blue & we were all - a Record Deal, Really?! Fuck!!!

Shit happens & you never really know what's around the corner or how many corners you might have to turn - try everything, experiment, contact people on the off chance that they might have work or advice to give you!

Everyone going down the art type route (not the desk job route) gets down from time to time - if you don't, then you're lucky!

But to be honest, my desk job causes me more stress, anxiety etc. then I've ever felt in my life. And the funny thing is, I see my stable, well off friends & they are about 15/20yrs further down the crazy road than I am - you scrape way the top layer of their lives & its far worse than yours. One friend said he wished he never got married & had kids - he was having a really bad day/month/year.....

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Unless there’s a 4 or 5 before that 0, then I don’t want to hear it. Lol. Jk.

Consider yourself lucky...

• You don’t have to be in your 20s anymore.

• You know yourself way more than you did 10 years ago.

• And as Bioskop said, you never know what will turn the corner...

With the voracity and ferocity in which you made your short film, you’ll probably have a studio deal by the next time a 5 is your second digit.

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